Ewwwwwww.

A few months ago I read a news article that the Japanese discovered a way to synthesize meat using (children, cover your eyes) human feces.

Yeah. Gross.

That seems like a pretty Japanese thing to do. Very small country, very dense population. Sewage and waste has got to be an issue, and this is arguably the most creative and innovative solution. I would imagine that this "meat" will be relatively cheap to purchase, once it's in production. There's no way to sell excrement as a luxury item, right?

Wrong!

The Indonesians have been doing it for centuries with their coffee.

Back in the late 19th century the Dutch colonized in the East Indies islands, setting up plantations and asking the natives to assist in farming and harvesting coffee beans. It's the Dutch that brought over Arabica strains on the islands of Java and Sumatra (all names I'm sure any coffee drinker would find familiar). Evidently the Dutch plantation owners were jerks, forbidding the farmers to partake in any of the delicious coffee.

The farmers discovered that civets (weasel-like creatures native to the land) would eat the plants, but the bean would exit undigested in their droppings. The Dutch either failed to recognize the possibility of brewing coffee from these feces or they wanted nothing to do with the whole ordeal (I would guess the latter), but the farmers cleaned the beans, roasted it, ground it up, and brewed a pot...and the rest is history.

Civet coffee, as it's generally called today, is supposedly extremely aromatic and much less bitter than the robust Arabica bean...it is also one of the most expensive coffees in the world, selling for as much as $600/lb.

I'll admit that I have never had a sip of civet coffee. Ignoring the fact that nobody seems to offer it up for sale (and places that do charge between $20 - $50 a cup), I don't know if I can withhold my disgust long enough to put a cup of civet coffee to my lips. Someone would have to surprise me with it, otherwise I'd be constantly thinking "I'm drinking coffee that's been pooped out of an animal."

Should the Japanese sell their human feces steaks for $50/lb? Probably not, unless that steak is absolutely delicious. I'm willing to bet that it's not, but then again I may be wrong about civet coffee, too.

All of this research leads me to wonder how hard it is to obtain a handful of civets and start my own roasting company. I could sell it for $300/lb and undercut the competition!